February 27, 2017

March 2, 2017

There are more than enough characterizations available for our Commander in Chief but let's never mistake him for a man who believes in democratic principles or the checks and balances of a functioning Republic.

This is a man who built his own empire on the principles of corporate business and there is nothing democratic about corporate business. Corporations don't have a vote every week, making decisions based on what the majority of the employees decide to be the best course of action for the company. Corporations are dictatorships, where a small group of oligarchs decree procedures and rules and punishments to obedient wage slaves.

When trapped within the structure of capitalism, business becomes tyranny. The recent leap toward the future by Wendy's is an excellent example of the oligarchic decisions of business. Wendy's announced it would be installing 1000 automated kiosks into its restaurant chains with little regard for the impact on, and implications for, its employees.

This is why Upton Sinclair wrote The Jungle and why Karl Marx wrote Communist Manifesto and it's what Ted Kaczynski was reaching for in his own rambling, painfully unedited term paper: the goal of the corporation in a capitalist system is to increase profit by reducing the cost of labor at the expense of anything and everything, including environmental and human considerations.

So when the new occupant of the White House seizes control of the Oval Office and establishes his reign by firing off (by my count) 23 Executive Orders in the first month, all of which contain phrases like "By the authority vested in me" and "it is hereby ordered", it's clear that you do NOT have a president interested in the mechanisms of democratic change..

You have a CEO.

The current president is nothing if not transparent so expect him to treat the United States as he would any other company that he heads: He alone is in charge, and he alone decides the direction of this profit-driven empire with minimum focus on its employees (the citizenry) and maximum focus on increasing profits for the shareholders (energy, banking, weapons and pharmaceutical corporations).

Once again, the United States needs a Thomas Paine, an eloquent writer who can steal back the language of Liberty from the courtiers who have perverted it, who can lay out, in simple parlance, the need for, and road toward, revolution. I'm an anarchist but I'm an American first. I don't believe in the authority of the state but I am admittedly comfortable living in a Republic with an agreed upon charter (the Constitution) and three branches of government, each of equal power, each pitted against the other, striving to make its own strongest argument, and yet still deferring to the consensus of the other two.

It's not an ideal arrangement but it's better than the alternatives. And it won't be freely given back to us. We will have to take it.

Copyright © 2017 John Bizarre

Last week the new inhabitants of The White House gave an early heads-up to those Americans who might have been getting good and comfortable with the sweeping wave of legalized recreational cannabis use across the country. Trump often mentioned the importance of state's rights during his campaign but now seems to be giving indications that the federal classification of cannabis will remain the same and that there will be a more "authoritative enforcement" approach toward recreational users.

Just when the country seemed to be pulling that stick out of its ass..

*The following is for Cannabis Connoisseurs only*

My sole reason for being there was a Weedmaps claim of $8 Durban Poison grams. Fuck you, I thought. There's no way you hawkers are selling a pure sativa, landrace strain from South Africa at eight bucks a pop. Go spank yer grandma with a salted whale cock, ya bullshitters..

But sure enough, there it was. Sort of. I put my finger on the smell jar and looked the budtender in the eye.

"This one," I said.

"Yes sir?"

"Grown where?"

"Right behind you," he said.

"On premises?"


Oh, that's right, I forgot. Seed to sale. In-state statutes.

"Where'd you get the seeds?"

"Not at liberty to say."

I liked this palooka, but he had the back of my hand written all over his face. Fuckin' wise guy. I could guess where he got the seeds because the place was a Tryke shop so they probably went through the strain hunters at Green House Seeds in the Netherlands (rest in peace, Franco) by way of Canada or Poland. Not at liberty to say. How's 'bout I liberate that smug li'l pie hole o' yers, ya Charles Nelson Reilly-lookin' mafaka?

"THC?" I asked.

"Almost 19%"




"What are you looking for?"


"1.3 mg"


"Why don't you get some Jack Herer instead?"

"Too musty."



"Half a mg."


"Good pronunciation. Third of a mg."

Little bastard knew his bud.

"We have some Panama Red shatter you might want to look at too," he said.

Ah, fuck you for pegging me as an old guy, ya prick ya.

"Dabs are out. Flower only."



"OK. White Zombie would kick up the Myrc for ya."

"How much?"

"3.2, with 17% THC."

"Ok, gram of that, gram of the Poison and what's Afrodite offering?"

"Similar numbers but a 2.5 mg shot of Limonene for a zesty snap."

Alright, I'm done playing with you.



"Got any Alaskan?"

"Thunderfuck? No."

"What about Blue de Hue?"

"No Mindfuck either, sorry."

"Khalifa Kush?"

"Overpriced celebrity shank. Save your money, same ol' OG buds."

"Got something Dr. Thompson would pull back before he hit the ether?"

Getting the reference, he looked at me curiously, tilting his head.

"Be right back."

He came back with a tiny glass jar.

"Ever tried Dutch Haze?"

"Aha!" I said. "Dutch Passion Seed Company. That's where you got the Durban Poison, you fuck."

"Well played, worthy adversary."

"Yeah, I'll take a gram. And some kief."

As he wrapped up my order I gave him hard look in the eye.

"Who are you?"

He smiled at me.

"Not at liberty to say."

Copyright © 2017 John Bizarre

March 14, 2017

Rather than talk about the disturbing direction of the United States Government I am, instead, burying myself in Dutch politics while fulfilling a request. Last week I met a man from Belgium whose Dutch was good and English even better. During our conversation I was reminded of something I wrote many years ago and was then asked if I could be pursuaded to repost it. Yeah..we can do that..

Transcript of The Last Supper translated from Aramaic by the Ecumenical Brotherhood on Christian Authenticity at The First Council of Nicaea

Jesus: "Assuredly, I say to you, one of you will betray me."

Peter: "Lord, is it I?"

Jesus: "I can't say. All I can say is one of you will betray me."

Andrew: "Well, that's not fair. Why won't you tell us who the rat is?"

Jesus: "I...I just can't. Now, let's get back to eating."

Philip: "Wait, you can't do that. You can't just drop a bomb like one of you is a traitor and then not tell us who."

James the Lesser: "Hey, leave Jesus alone, Phil."

Philip: "Shut up, James the Lesser. Nobody wants to hear from you. If we want to hear from a James we'll talk to James the Greater over here."

James the Greater: "Yeah."

Philip: "You shut up too, James the Greater. And that reminds me. Where the hell is James the Greatest?"

Simon: "He said he was sick but I think he went bowling with James the Very Least."

Philip: "Lyin' pricks."

Jesus: "Hey folks, let's uh..pull it together here, huh? I'm gonna be tortured and murdered tomorrow and I thought we might have a nice quiet dinner, OK?"

Andrew: "I still want to know who the rat is."

Jesus: "Look, forget about the rat. I never should have brought it up. Listen, everybody take a piece of bread, OK? Yeah, there you go, pass it around..OK.."

Bartholomew: "Hey, this ain't fair. I got a small one."

Jesus: "It doesn't matter how big.."

Bartholomew: "Thaddeus! You took too big a piece!"

Thaddeus: "I did not. You just took a small one. It's your own fault."

Bartholomew: "No fair! I want a another tug at the bread!"

Jesus: "Fellas, the size of your piece is irrelevant. What's import..."

Bartholomew: "Thomas, pass that bread back. I want another tug."

Thomas: "You can't have two tugs. It's one tug per disciple."

Bartholomew: "But I didn't know how big a tug everybody was going to take! I WANT ANOTHER TUG!!"

Jesus: "Everybody shut the fuck up! It doesn't matter how big your piece is! It's just symbolic!" 

John: "Wow, Jesus just said fuck. Are we..are we supposed to include that in the Gospels?"

Thomas: "I wouldn't."

Jesus: "Now, listen. Everybody. Take this bread and eat it. It is my body."

Philip: "What did he just say?"

Simon: "I think he just..he said the bread is his body."

Philip: "What the hell does that mean?"

Simon: "I don't know. Hey, Jesus! What does that mean?"

Jesus: "I'm saying that this bread represents my body and I want you to eat it."

Simon: "So...um, you're saying..eat me?"

Jesus: "No no, that's not...I mean.."

Andrew: "Well, that's kinda rude."

Thaddeus: "Really."

Andrew: "Where's he get off with that stuff?"

Thaddeus: "When did cannibalism become part of this whole deal?"

Philip: "Ahh, I'm gettin' a weird vibe here."

Jesus: "Alright alright, never mind that, let's move on. Everybody raise your glasses. Yeah, there you go. Good. Now, listen. Drink this, for it is my blood.."

John: "OK now, wait a minute.."

Andrew: "What, are we vampires now?"

James the Greater: "Maybe we should have worn costumes."

James the Lesser: "I wanna be a Power Ranger!"

Jesus: "Alright, you know what? Fuck all y'all. Just eat your meals and drink up and forget the whole thing. I'll just go get killed and you guys can sleep in tomorrow."

Peter: "Easy, Jesus. They don't mean nothin' by it."

Jesus: "Ah, whatever."

Peter: "No, really, man. I'm listening. What else?"

Jesus: "Well, for instance, you will deny me three times before the cock crows."

Peter: "Wha..why would I do that?"

Jesus: "I don't know, people just do stuff, how the hell should I know? Man, this soup blows. Pass that salt, wouldja, Pete?"

Peter: "Um...you know, you're not supposed to be eating a lot of salt, Jesus."

Jesus: "Yeah yeah, I know, I know, but this soup is like water. Pass it over."

Peter: "I'm serious, Jesus, you're supposed to be watching your blood pressure."

Jesus: "Peter, I'm the son of God, for fuck's sake. I can watch my own blood pressure. Now, pass me that goddamn salt!"

Peter: "Jesus, I really think it's a bad idea. I'm gonna..I'm gonna go ahead and not do that."

Jesus: "See? Did you all see that? He denied me three times! And the cock hasn't crowed yet!"

Andrew: "Who's he calling a cock?"

Bartholomew: "Somebody pass him the salt already before he gets any more goofy."

Jesus: "Look, I'm really disappointed with you guys. You're supposed to be my disciples. You're supposed to be spreading my teachings."

James the Lesser: "You mean about eating people and drinking blood and stuff?"

Jesus: "No, goddamn it, you're not listening! OK, I'm going to make it really simple for you. Here's the message - Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Thaddeus: "Hmm. I'm not sure I get that. You mean, if I want people to give me free pizza, I should give other people free pizza?"

Jesus: "Well, that's not exactly.."

Thaddeus: "Because that doesn't make any sense. If I start giving out free pizza, people are going to assume that I've got plenty of pizza, so nobody's going to give me any. Why would anyone give pizza to somebody who is already giving it away for free?"

Jesus: "Alright, you people are hopeless. Forget it. You can all go to hell."

Peter: "Jesus, come back!"

Philip: "Ah, let him go. Wait a minute. Did he really just tell us to do unto others, and then walk out before the bill arrives?"

John: "That sneaky bastard."

Simon: "How are we going to pay for all this?"

Judas: "Don't worry about it."

Philip: "What do you mean?"

Judas: "I lifted his wallet while you guys were drinking his blood."

Andrew: "Nice."

Copyright © 2010 John Bizarre

March 22, 2017

Tyrants frequently use the words "freedom" and "democracy" when attempting to eliminate access to ideas like freedom and democracy.

Never forget that when the Cheney Administration decided the time was right to invade Iraq, destroy an entire civilization, and seize control of one of the largest oil reserves in the world while establishing permanent bases from which to launch future crimes of empire, the words "freedom" and "democracy" were used so often that they went through a fade in meaning.

It was grotesque and cynical and a harbinger of the evil to come at Abu Ghraib.

"We're going to bring freedom and democracy to the people of Iraq by bombing their cities, murdering their government officials, throwing gasoline on ethnic rivalries, torturing prisoners, dismantling their social, economic and educational infrastructures, and creating a power vacuum that will be filled by heavily armed jihadist executioners. How's that sound, eh? Pretty good, yeah? Sure, have a great time, boys. That's how we Americans roll - blast people into democracy with the fucking Bazooka of Liberty. Nah, don't bother thanking us. What's that, oil over there? Yeah, we'll just take that as payment for the next 100 years. OK, good luck! Sorry about the one million Iraqi civilians who will be murdered in the process! No hard feelings, eh?"

The average American seems to lose no sleep over the fact that The United States has become a Corporate Empire with a very deliberate agenda - to serve the needs of the national security state complex by creating chaos through military conflict on a global scale and, consequently, an endless demand for the instruments of murder sold by Raytheon, Boeing, Lockheed Martin, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics and all the other corporations that dictate American foreign policy.

It's a trillion dollar a year industry of death and misery, the Rosemary's Baby of unchecked corporate capitalism.

The western military presence in Afghanistan is no longer about al-qaeda or the Taliban, if it ever was. It's about Iran, Russia and China. Like Iraq, it's about secured supply routes and bases from which to launch proxy wars and direct confrontations over energy resources and mineral rights. It's about the largest corporations in the world carving up the planet and having publicly and privately funded armies protect their assets.

After 9/11 the Cheney Administration's trained monkey had a slip of the tongue, calling what was coming a Crusade. It may have been the only time that evil little punk was right. Steve Bannon's success in creating a Trumpocracy has boosted the already rising Geert Wilders in the Netherlands and Marine Le Pen in France, giving a twisted kind of legitimacy to anti-immigrant sentiment. Instead of acknowledging the results of perpetual war, neoliberalism, and a blind allegiance to corporate power, the disenfranchised western middle and struggling classes would rather hear easy answers and be manipulated by Islamophobia. Nationalism and Euro-skepticism are the go-to positions for those with a penchant for the "Remember when things were right because we were all white?" line of thinking.

It's a dark path we're on as a species. When the voices of reason are marginalized in favor of the loud, in-your-face voices of charlatans, and a profit-hungry arms industry successfully creates a global push toward right wing populism..

..we're in a shitload of trouble.

Copyright 2017 John Bizarre